BOOK REVIEW: Will Not See by Chautona Havig

When Vikki Jeffries wakes up in a Rockland hotel with no idea of who she is and why she can’t remember… well, anything, the Rockland medical community begins to take a closer look at what may have happened to cause a second case of inexplicable amnesia.

But for Vikki, this is more than a medical anomaly–it’s her life. What is she doing in Rockland, thousands of miles away from her home in Apache Junction, Arizona? Who is she? Why is no one looking for her? Or are they?

The secrets of a past she's discovering she doesn't want to know lay locked away in a memory that refuses to acknowledge their existence.

When Brandon Marana finds his neighbor struggling to open her front door, his quiet life becomes a race to protect Vikki and himself from people who are determined to find her.

He's falling in love with her--but he shouldn't. He's a Christian. She's not. But the more she depends on him to know who she is and learn why these things keep happening to her, the stronger those ties become.

Will Not See: Sometimes, the past needs to stay there.

I was super excited when this book came up for review with Celebrate Lit.  Remember, the first book None So Blind is what shot this author to the top of my favorites list.  It left me wanting so much more and I was NEEDING this followup to provide all that and some.  Again, I was not left disappointed.  And while some questions were answered it spun so many more.  We get to pick back up with Ella as she steps to to try to help the next victim of whatever this thing is.  I didn't quite bond with Victoria (Tori now Vickki) as I did with Ella.  Her story in and of itself drew me in and made me ache for who she had been but also who she could become.  But she wasn't Ella.  She didn't have her backbone, her strength, and her indomitable spirit.  I mean, I guess she did but it was softer.  She'd survived so much and still came out ahead.  

I'm not as taken of guard with the loss of memory as I was with Ella.  Vikki's situation brought answers to previous questions and even more questions.  What frustrated me was the seeming lack of ability for law enforcement to actually get their hands on information.  Birth certificates?  Criminal background?  Those things are seemingly easy to get your hands on with a simple internet search.  I know it's really not that simple but...  I'm still waiting for resolution on the money!  And now the drugs.  And the hospital.  And Rockland.  How did Vikki end up there anyway?  And... So many questions.  I know that there's another book coming but I can't wait!

I love how Havig took something so intense and difficult and personal and makes it open without saying a word.  Vikki's background, what she could piece together, was not the thing of fairy-tales.  It wasn't even just a 'bad' childhood.  The author handled that with grace and compassion without being overt and heavy handed.  The more I read about Vikki the more I bonded with her.  The more I cared.  I was invested in her faith, or lack thereof.  I was even invested in her love triangle.  I honestly can't say who would even wish for her to be with at the end.  What I do know beyond a shadow of a doubt is I need the next book sooner rather than later.  I need to know how this all plays out.  There are so many mysteries and balls in the air and I'm not even in the ballpark to be able to figure out where they will drop.  Oh gravy, did I just use a sports-y reference?!?  Now that's worth writing about!

I was provided a complimentary copy of this book by CelebrateLit.  I was not compensated for this review and all thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.  I was not required to write a positive review. 

Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble 

About Chautona Havig 

 I am fortunate enough to live in the great state of California (in the Mojave Desert) with my husband Kevin and five of my nine children. My eldest is married with five children, so I have the fun of a son-in-law and grandbabies to enjoy. I’ve graduated six out of my nine children from our home school, and they’re all doing quite well in their lives. My younger children keep me from getting too selfish, and someday I’ll be fully retired as their teacher. I have to say, I’m lookin’ forward to it. Teaching about gerunds was fun the first time… not so much anymore. I salute all of those in the education field. You are my heroes.

When I’m not writing (which I admit isn’t often) I enjoy blogging (a totally different kind of writing, trust me), paper crafts, sewing, smocking, photo editing, and old music. No, really, I like OLD stuff… the Beatles are too newfangled for me. Yeah,I know they’re before my time… but I like stuff before my PARENTS time.

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SPOTLIGHT: Will Not See by Chautona Havig

Click here to purchase your copy.

About the Book

Book title: Will Not See
Author: Chautona Havig   
Release date: August 29, 2017
Genre: Christian Fiction / contemporary / suspense (light)

When Vikki Jeffries wakes up in a Rockland hotel with no idea of who she is and why she can’t remember… well, anything, the Rockland medical community begins to take a closer look at what may have happened to cause a second case of inexplicable amnesia.

But for Vikki, this is more than a medical anomaly–it’s her life. What is she doing in Rockland, thousands of miles away from her home in Apache Junction, Arizona? Who is she? Why is no one looking for her? Or are they?

Will Not See: Not everything is as it seems.

About the Author

Author of the Amazon bestselling Aggie and Past Forward Series, Chautona Havig lives and writes in California’s Mojave Desert. With dozens of books to her name, Chautona spends most of her time writing, but when she takes the rare break, she can be found reading, sewing, paper crafting, or sleeping and dreaming of finishing the dozens of books swirling in her overly-active imagination at any given moment

 

 

Guest Post from Chautona Havig

The circle of death swirls on the screen and it shifts. The bank balance appears, and with it, my heart sinks. It’s been a tough few months, financially. The bottom line proves it.

My reaction? Inhale. Exhale. “Okay, now we know the worst. We can do something about it.”

My husband, on the other hand, suffers a definite blow. Kevin might not sleep that night. Instead, he’ll mull over what we could have done differently, how we can make changes, if he’s a failure at this thing called life. He’ll pray—for hours.

They say ignorance is bliss. And sometimes, that’s true. It’s also a personality thing, I think. I tend to be a “let me have your worst” kind of gal. But when the negative arrives, I also tend to want to shield Kevin from it all. I don’t know how he can worry so much. He can’t fathom how I can turn it off.

But sometimes those personality things go deeper—into what can be serious faults. It has been said,

“There are none so blind as those who will not see. The most deluded people are those who choose to ignore what they already know.”

Or, in the words of Jeremiah,

“Now hear this, O foolish and senseless people, who have eyes but do not see, who have ears but do not hear.”

What does this have to do with not seeing?

As I work on the Sight Unseen series, one recurring theme happens, of course. Memory loss—the removal of all insight into one’s past. You can hear who you were, be informed of what you did and why others think you did it, but you can’t know your own self the way you once did. It’s a fresh slate, and it can be a good thing in some respects.

Those around you can now see the difference between habits and personality traits—true dislikes and those conditioned by life. What might have been a fear once could be gone if the cause of that fear is blotted out.

But even for these fictional characters, truth doesn’t change. In None So Blind, Ella takes her memory loss and uses it as an opportunity to reinvent herself, if you will. And you know what? If you asked her family about it, they’d tell you that it fits her personality. That take-charge, gotta get ’er done attitude Dani may have used in different ways, but both “manifestations” of the woman had those qualities. Sure, Ella’s was tempered by recent experience, but not much.

Vikki Jeffries, is almost the antithesis of Ella in that respect.

The past is in the past. It scares her. Is it because she doesn’t know it? Because she’s frightened by the unknown? We don’t know. But what we do know is anything associated with that past, even the few very personal items she finds, she rejects. It’s as if ignorance of them will protect her from them. Where Ella runs to face her problems, Vikki runs from them.

But despite those differences, I find it interesting that both women did the same thing, basically—just at different times.

Before her “episode,” Ella chose to blind herself to her faults. She knew them. Lived with them daily, but couldn’t face or address them. So, she “refused to see.”

Vikki—we don’t know. But I think the story shows that she couldn’t blind herself to truth before her episode. As much as she might have ached to, she just couldn’t. Now that the opportunity is here, however, she grasps it and if she insists on squeezing her eyes shut indefinitely, it may cost her everything—her life. Her soul.

Philippians 4:8, “…whatever is true.”

They say ignorance is bliss. Well, “they” also say, “Truth hurts.” And sometimes it does. But so do the consequences of that ignorance. I guess the next time the bank balance dips low, I won’t be handling the fallout alone. Then again, one can always pray that it doesn’t dip low! I think we’ll start there.

Blog Stops

August 29: Just Jo’Anne | Carpe Diem
August 30: Seasons of Opportunities | Blogging With Carol | Lots of Helpers
August 31: Genesis 5020 | Reading Is My SuperPower
September 1: Quiet Quilter | Back Porch Reads
September 2: Fiction Aficionado | Book Bites, Bee Sting, & Butterfly Kisses
September 3: A Reader’s Brain | Debbie’s Dusty Deliberations
September 4: Bigreadersite | The Scribbler
September 5: The Fizzy Pop Collection | Mommynificent
September 6: Christian Bookaholic | Moments Dipped in Ink | Margaret Kazmierczak
September 7: History, Mystery & Faith | Southern Gal Loves to Read
September 8: Pause for Tales | Avid Reader Book Reviews
September 9: Blossoms and Blessings | Reflections from my Bookshelves
September 10: A Baker’s Perspective | Pursuing Stacie
September 11: His Grace is Sufficient | Reader’s cozy corner

Giveaway

 

BOOK REVIEW: Manuscript for Murder by Chautona Havig

Alexa Hartfield. Author, local celebrity, fashion connoisseur. She chose Fairbury for its close proximity to Rockland, its small town atmosphere, and its low crime rate.

Then someone made her life a literary cliché. A mysterious accident with a light bulb sparked an interesting idea for her latest novel—and for Fairbury’s new serial killer. The first replication infuriated her. The second left an even worse taste in her mouth. The third blasted more than her self-confidence, and the fourth beat her down so far she’s considering giving up writing completely.

Who is killing Fairbury’s citizens, and furthermore, why and how are they using her novels to do it?

It's no secret that Chautona is one of my new favorite authors.  When this book came up for tour with Celebrate Lit I had to jump at the chance to get it and also insist that Kristin from A Simply Enchanted Life did as well.  I mean what is the point in having a book bestie without also sharing new favorite authors so they can love them too?  While not my favorite Chautona noel thus far, 'Manuscript for Murder' has all the elements I need in a book.  Defined characters to love (and despise), a mystery that keeps me a bit on edge, and satisfying conflict and drama and conversation.  And...oh the ands I could add.

Alexa is so far from cliche' that she becomes cliche'.  I love that about her.  She's the embodiment of her own person down to the choice of wardrobe that brings so many questions and sometimes unwanted attention.  While setting herself up to live and dress as she wishes (part of non-cliche') she draws attention to herself for her period-esque wardrobe that adds to her allure as a murder mystery writer (making her cliche').  Wardrobe aside she's like that in most every facet of her life.  She makes her own choices, much to the dismay of her family, goes where she wants when she wants.  And writes books about murder, and justice.  And she explains it so much better than I ever could.  

However, when her work in progress comes to life the rest becomes back drop and filler.  I mean it's not even a book yet that someone can read and copycat, it's a work in progress that no one has seen.  No. One.  Well, outside the parts she writes while her cop friend Joe is hanging around the house.  Writes sorta kinda maybe on purpose to try and create a diversion.  Even that comes to life.  The red herring becomes a herring, the what the gravy becomes grits and gravy it really just turns full circle and I don't have enough 'Fizzyisms' to cover it all.  What does seem possible is and what seems impossible isn't and it wraps you up in a nice warm shawl and becomes and amazing book.

Why?  I know you are begging for me to tell you why it's only 4 stars if I loved the book and adore the author.  Well, it pains me to state this but I felt sorta lost through parts of the book.  Hints were dropped that left me confused for long parts of the story which I felt like detracted from other things.  I get why it was handled that way and I get that I'm frequently more confused than not.  But...  I feel like the way some things from Alexa's personal life was revealed throughout the book would almost have been better if the hints hadn't been dropped.  And that things were hinted and and danced around that were never quite resolved for me.  That's me though, not you.  This book is an amazing mystery (and yes it did keep me guessing almost until the end) with all the things I never realized a murder mystery needed until I met Alexa. 

I was provided a complimentary copy of this book by CelebrateLit.  I was not compensated for this review and all thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.  I was not required to write a positive review. 

Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

About Chautona Havig 

 I am fortunate enough to live in the great state of California (in the Mojave Desert) with my husband Kevin and five of my nine children. My eldest is married with five children, so I have the fun of a son-in-law and grandbabies to enjoy. I’ve graduated six out of my nine children from our home school, and they’re all doing quite well in their lives. My younger children keep me from getting too selfish, and someday I’ll be fully retired as their teacher. I have to say, I’m lookin’ forward to it. Teaching about gerunds was fun the first time… not so much anymore. I salute all of those in the education field. You are my heroes.

When I’m not writing (which I admit isn’t often) I enjoy blogging (a totally different kind of writing, trust me), paper crafts, sewing, smocking, photo editing, and old music. No, really, I like OLD stuff… the Beatles are too newfangled for me. Yeah,I know they’re before my time… but I like stuff before my PARENTS time.
.Website | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Instagram | Goodreads

SPOTLIGHT: Manuscript for Murder by Chautona Havig

Click here to pick up your copy.

About the Book

Book title: Manuscript for Murder
Author: Chautona Havig
Release date: October 13, 2012
Genre: Mystery

Alexa Hartfield.

Author, local celebrity, fashion connoisseur. She chose Fairbury for its close proximity to Rockland, its small town atmosphere, and its low crime rate.

Then someone made her life a literary cliché. A mysterious accident with a light bulb sparked an interesting idea for her latest novel—and for Fairbury’s new serial killer. The first replication infuriated her. The second left an even worse taste in her mouth. The third blasted more than her self-confidence, and the fourth beat her down so far she’s considering giving up writing completely.

Who is killing Fairbury’s citizens, and furthermore, why and how are they using her novels to do it?

About the Author

Chautona Havig lives and writes in California’s Mojave Desert with her husband and five of her nine children. Through her novels, she hopes to encourage Christians in their walk with Jesus.

Guest Post from Chautona Havig

How Arrows & My Obsession with Vintage Clothes Inspired Murder

A swath of fabric cut across my bedroom at an odd angle but that angle ensured that I could stretch it all out. With painstaking precision, I pinned every last piece to the fabric, disgusted at the enormous waste stretching out before me.

The pattern called for three and a half yards. I’d crammed it into two at most.

Just as I picked up the scissors for the first cut, Mom popped her head in the door to see how I was doing. I pointed out the waste. “Grandma said patterns always told you to buy way too much, but I’ve got enough to make another dress!”

Mom stepped closer. I want to say a cigarette hung from her lips, but let’s face it. No way would Mom ever allow the ashes to drop on the carpet. But it felt like one was there, nonetheless. Mom pointed. “Chautona, I don’t know anything about sewing, but I think those arrows are there for a reason.”

And with that, she turned away.

I stared down at the pattern. My arrows zig-zagged all over the place. A glance at the directions showed all arrows going exactly the same direction. Straight up and down the fabric.

You know, if I’d been doing this for the first time in 2017, I could have just zipped on over to “the Google,” as Mom calls it, and looked up why. Instead, I grabbed a thick sewing manual I’d bought for a buck at Pick-N-Save and flipped through it until I found a section on laying out patterns.

A couple of minutes later, I flew down the stairs. “The book says that the long, smooth edges are called selvages. The arrows are supposed to run parallel or the dress might hang wonky.”

Here, I can guarantee Mom took a puff of that cigarette. Man, I hated those things. “Well, like I said. I don’t know anything about sewing, but they looked important.” She blew a puff of smoke.

That’s when I suspected that Mom knew more about sewing than she’d let on.

What does this little sewing lesson have to do with mysteries and murder?

Well, see. This was a test dress. I’d only decided to learn to sew because I’d also decided that I wanted Nancy Drew’s wardrobe. In 1982, you couldn’t buy trim, neat clothing from the 50’s. I had Gunne Sax skirts and preppy tops with ruffles that my parents hated. When they found out I wanted a sewing machine to make clothes like that, they got me one.

Yep. I cut my reading teeth on Nancy Drew and didn’t stop there. I read all the youth mysteries—Bobsey Twins, Trixie Belden, Hardy Boys, Meg Duncan (she was a fave, too), and when I got a little older, Phyllis Whitney.

I loved the challenge of seeing events play out—and figuring out why. Why told me who. You get to where you can figure out things rather easily. But if you make me doubt my ideas, that’s good enough. I love that.

Is it any wonder that one of the first books I conceived was a mystery? I’d never put the ideas together until I began working on this post, but really… is it any wonder that I gave that author a love of vintage fashion? Too funny. But those arrows on that pattern? They taught me pretty cool lessons as a kid. Like Mom said:

“Those arrows are there for a reason.”

Isn’t that what God’s directional arrows in His Word are like? They’re there for a reason. They keep us from getting all wonky. It’s why Alexa writes the kind of books she does. I never could, but as she says when she describes telling someone why she writes horror/suspense,

“I tried to describe a world where we never see justice—where sin surrounds us, but the only response we see is a sweet romance or a heartwarming tale of doing good to our neighbors… And God is a God of more than love and mercy. [He’s also a God of] justice.”

Alexa writes what she does to help people sort out those crossed arrows and see that there is a point to it all—that eventually justice and mercy converge paths into one rather than criss-crossing all over the place, trampling each other. She doesn’t write Christian fiction, but I don’t know how a Christian can write fiction without some part of faith shining through. In Alexa’s, and I hope in mine as well, there’s an overarching theme that illustrates that the Lord hasn’t forgotten the people He created.

Blog Stops

July 25: A Baker’s Perspective | Debbie’s Dusty Deliberations
July 26: Book Reviews From an Avid Reader
July 27: The Fizzy Pop Collection
July 28: Bigreadersite
July 29: Avid Reader Book Reviews
July 30: A Reader’s Brain
July 31: Blogging With Carol
August 1: Mommynificent
August 2: Moments Dipped in Ink
August 3: Carpe Diem
August 4: With a Joyful Noise | A Simply Enchanted Life
August 5: Lots of Helpers | Christian Bookaholic
August 6: Kat’s Corner Books | Southern Gal Loves to Read
August 7: Karen Sue Hadley | Blossoms and Blessings

Giveaway

BOOK REVIEW: None so Blind by Chautona Havig

Dani and Ella Weeks-two women who share one thing in common-the same life, the same family, and the same body. When Dani wakes with no knowledge of who or where she is-no memories of her life at all-David and Dani Weeks discover that "til death do us part" takes on an entirely unexpected meaning. Practically speaking, Dani died. But she didn't. In a desperate attempt to separate the old life from the new, Dani insists on a new name-Ella. Ella's doctors can't explain what happened. Her children can't understand why she doesn't know them, and her husband finds himself torn between admiration for the "new" version of his wife and missing the woman he's known for over fifteen years. Will Ella ever regain her memory? Why does their pastor suspect it's one great hoax?

Give me a moment to fangirl.  I loved this book!  I loved the premise, the execution, just the whole amazing mysterious thing.  Don't get me wrong, it wasn't perfect but good gravy Mavis, it was amazing.  Picture yourself in Daniella Weeks' shoes.  Imagine waking in a body you don't recognize, with a family that are strangers, in a house that creeps you out.  Imagine being poked and prodded at the hospital where they figure absolutely nothing out and give you the choice of going to this unloved house full of strangers or to an institution where you feel as though you will become a science experiment.  Can you even begin to imagine the edges of it, forget putting yourself all the way in, just pick a part?  As you learn about who you 'were' you become determined to be everything you weren't.  And what to do the husband and kids? 

There's one ball I feel like was dropped in a way that leaves me feeling confused and like there's a bigger story at play.  Perhaps in sequels?  Perhaps...  Just a mini spoiler here but what about the money?!?  I mean that's a chunk o' change that seems like it could be a big deal but then seems to fade into the ether.  I also felt like the idea that the 'episode' was all a hoax was played up more in the synopsis and even in the story and didn't quite measure up to the hype it might have been. More on that later!  That and one comma that feels awkward, that's all I got for the drawbacks for this book.  I mean seriously people, it was so well crafted, so well told, so well...everything.  Something I can't imagine in my wildest dreams and here Dani/Ella is living it at Havig has created it so almost seamlessly that I can almost put myself there.  OK, perhaps just a moment of fangirl wasn't enough.  I'll get back on track.

Mystery is the way to my heart and this book has it in such a refreshing way that I fell in love with the genre all over again.  Add a little intrigue with the money and the idea that maybe perhaps Dani did this completely on purpose to force her to deal with the life changes she seems to not give two wits about but maybe?  I mean Ella is bound and determined to be the opposite of Dani in almost every area of life.  The romance of the book was even refreshing to engage while Ella and David worked at getting to know each other. The difficulty he had with not comparing and her difficulty with the idea he truly loved her for who she was now and not who she was or because he 'had to'.  I'm excited to see where this series is going to develop next and with the next book coming out so very soon I don't have to wait too long!


I was provided a complimentary copy of this book by CelebrateLit and the author.  I was not compensated for this review and all thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.  I was not required to write a positive review. 

Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

About Chautona Havig 

 I am fortunate enough to live in the great state of California (in the Mojave Desert) with my husband Kevin and five of my nine children. My eldest is married with five children, so I have the fun of a son-in-law and grandbabies to enjoy. I’ve graduated six out of my nine children from our home school, and they’re all doing quite well in their lives. My younger children keep me from getting too selfish, and someday I’ll be fully retired as their teacher. I have to say, I’m lookin’ forward to it. Teaching about gerunds was fun the first time… not so much anymore. I salute all of those in the education field. You are my heroes.

When I’m not writing (which I admit isn’t often) I enjoy blogging (a totally different kind of writing, trust me), paper crafts, sewing, smocking, photo editing, and old music. No, really, I like OLD stuff… the Beatles are too newfangled for me. Yeah,I know they’re before my time… but I like stuff before my PARENTS time.
.Website | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Instagram | Goodreads

SPOTLIGHT: None So Blind by Chautona Havig

Click here to purchase your copy.

About the Book

Book title: None So Blind

Author: Chautona Havig
Release date: September 29, 2013
Genre: Contemporary

Dani and Ella Weeks–two women who share one thing in common. The same life, the same family, and the same body.

When Dani wakes with no knowledge of who or where she is–no memories of her life at all–David and Dani Weeks discover that “til death do us part” takes on an entirely unexpected meaning.

Practically speaking, Dani died. But she didn’t.
What’s a gal to do?

In a desperate attempt to separate the old life from the new, Dani insists on a new name, a twist of her old one–Ella.

Ella’s doctors can’t explain what happened. Her children can’t understand why she doesn’t know them. David, her husband, finds himself torn between admiration for the “new” version of his wife and missing the woman he’s known for over fifteen years.

Will Ella ever regain her memory? Why does their pastor suspect it’s one great hoax?

About the Author

Chautona Havig lives and writes in California’s Mojave Desert with her husbnd and five of her nine children.  Through her novels, she hopes to encourage Christians in their walk with Jesus.

Guest post from Chautona Havig

“Who are you, again?”

“I’m Joe’s, daughter. Vyonie.” My sister pointed to me. “This is Chautona.”

For some odd reason, the niece she spent the least amount of time with, Aunt Doris remembered—somewhat. But she didn’t remember Vyonie from what I could tell. She smiled at me, that amazing, sweet smile I’d never forget. She asked how I was. I always thought that Mrs. Sanderson—mother of John, Alicia, and Carl on the TV show, Little House on the Prairie—looked and sounded like Aunt Doris. Of course, that memory of me didn’t last. A minute or two later, she gave me a big smile and asked if she knew me.

It gave me a picture of what it must have been like for my character, Ella Weeks—to wake up every day with these children there—children who knew her, but she didn’t remember. The hurt she caused every time she had to struggle to admit she didn’t know something she probably should—again. So, I thought I’d ask her to tell us about it.

Ella: People often assume that the worst part of losing my memory are the memories that disappeared, too. But it’s not. A much as I’d love to remember my wedding day, my daughter’s first steps, my son’s first words, or that moment I realized I was pregnant with my third, those are blessings that I don’t think about often. No, what hurts most is seeing the pain in my children’s eyes when they need me to remember something and I can’t. For me, not remembering their first day of kindergarten is an inconvenience. For them, it’s a further reminder that if they didn’t tell me, I wouldn’t know them. That without them pushing themselves into my life, I wouldn’t care about them any more than any other human in my path. I do now, of course, but not at first. I hate that they heard David say once, “…she doesn’t know me. She doesn’t trust me. She doesn’t know our children. She tries, but she could walk out of our lives tomorrow and never miss us.”

Living so close to it every day, I missed those little bits of pain that I inflicted without meaning to, but when I went with our Bible study to a nursing home and visited with the residents, then I saw it. Women with tears running down their cheeks as loved ones patted their hands and tried to comfort. I heard one man offer to find a woman’s father. She squeezed him close and whispered, “It’s okay, Daddy. I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The man promised to try to find her father in the meantime.

Those people there—most of them didn’t realize they didn’t remember someone important. They didn’t struggle to remember this or that. Their dementia had gotten bad enough that their lives had gone from constant frustration to, by comparison, blissful oblivion.

And their families withered with each forgotten face, name, moment.

That’s what my “episode” did for my family. It caused them pain that just resurfaced every time something new happened. Pain that I didn’t know I inflicted. And since that visit, I have a greater compassion and awareness of just how amazing and powerful memories are.

I also have a greater appreciation for those beautiful words in Isaiah when the Lord promised… “I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, And I will not remember your sins.”

You see, there’s a lifetime of the sins that Jesus died for buried somewhere in my brain—or, at least at one time there was. I know that those sins were in there, because the ones I committed yesterday are there today. The ones I’ve already confessed and been forgiven for—I beat myself up for the next morning. A week later. A month. But the Lord has wiped them clean. I just keep smearing them back out there again as if to say, “But You don’t get how BAD I was.” Yeah. The arrogance, right? Because an almighty, holy God can’t possibly understand how sinful a sinner that He had to DIE to save from those sins… is. The arrogance? That’s an understatement.

But all those years before that horrible morning… gone. Maybe I stole something. I don’t know. It was forgiven, wiped clean, and then wiped from my memory. I can’t rehash it with the Lord over and over. I can’t drag it back up like a wife who won’t let her husband forget the one time he forgot her birthday. I can’t use it as a whip to beat myself up with. And I think there’s something beautiful in that.

Do I wish I could stop hurting my family with my blank past? Of course. But am I also grateful for a living picture of the fresh start the Lord gives His people at salvation? Definitely. I hope I never take it for granted again.

Blog Stops

June 15: Blogging With Carol | Genesis 5020 | Lane Hill House

June 16: Red Headed Book Lady | The Scribbler | Moments Dipped in Ink

June 17: Back Porch Reads | The Power of Words | Debbie’s Dusty Deliberations

June 18: Carpe Diem | A Baker’s Perspective

June 19: Christian Bookaholic | Quiet Quilter

June 20: The Fizzy Pop Collection | Mommynificent

June 21: Seasons of Opportunities | Truth and Grace Writing and Life Coaching

June 22: Pursuing Stacie | Remembrancy

June 23: Pause for Tales

June 23: Avid Reader Book Reviews | Book Bites, Bee Stings, & Butterfly Kisses | Bigreadersite

June 24: CAFINATED READS

June 25: Lots of Helpers | Ashley’s Bookshelf

June 26: Blossoms and Blessings | A Reader’s Brain

June 27: God1meover | His Grace is Sufficient

June 28: Just Jo’Anne | Henry Happens | Reader’s Cozy Corner